A relationship (def.) is being together with someone, based on mutual trust and knowing one another — not on what someone does, or how well they do it. A relationship is presence and trust, not results and duties. A relationship is being (with someone), not doing. A relationship is not about what you do for someone, but about the fact that you are with them.
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WELL-KNOWN QUOTES
“Relationship begins where pretending ends.” – C.S. Lewis
“A relationship is not about talking about someone, but about being with someone.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
“Christianity is not about keeping rules, but about a relationship with the living God.” – Billy Graham
Scientific research on human bonds shows that people do not feel loved because of the number of gifts they receive, but because of time, attention, and presence.
A relationship always costs presence and closeness — not money or effort.
1. God Was the First to Invite Us Into Relationship
A relationship with God does not begin with man, but with God. As it is written in Romans chapter 3, verses 10 through 12:
“As it is written: None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one…” – Rom 3:10–12
It was God the Father who:
- sought Adam in the garden,
- sent His own Son to die for us,
- prepared everything before we ever responded.
We do not deserve this relationship, but we enter into it through faith in Jesus. It was Jesus who died for us on the cross, to rebuild our relationship with Him.
- BEFORE – because of sin – we were far from a relationship with God
- TODAY – because of justification in Christ – we can once again have a relationship with the living God!
“We love because he first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19
Knowing God is our response to the love He has shown us! The apostle Paul describes this relationship:
“So I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, gaining Him and progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him — perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly. For His sake I have lost all things and count them as mere rubbish [refuse, dregs], in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having any righteousness of my own derived from [my obedience to] the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the true righteousness which comes from God, on the basis of faith. [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him, that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly, and that I may in that same way come to know the power of His resurrection, and that I may share His sufferings, being continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death.” – Phil 3:8-10 (Amplified Bible)
2. Religion’s Greatest Lie: “I Have to Earn It”
One of the greatest enemies of intimacy is merit-based thinking:
- “I prayed – God will accept me”
- “I didn’t pray – God has drawn away from me”
This is not the Gospel — this is law! Religion says: “Do something, and then you will be accepted.”
The Gospel says: “You are accepted — now learn to live from that truth and that identity.”
Every religion talks about what we must do, what we must accomplish, in order to draw closer to God.
True Christianity says:
God has already done everything needed to rebuild His relationship with us — and WE JUST NEED TO RECEIVE IT!
There is a difference between acting for acceptance and acting from acceptance. We are already accepted, if only we receive what God has done for us.
3. The Story of the Prodigal Son Reveals the Father’s Heart
“And he [Jesus] said, ‘There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.” And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and nobody gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father (REPENTANCE AND RETURN TO GOD), and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.'” And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his FATHER saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But the FATHER said to his servants, “Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” And they began to celebrate. Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, “Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.” But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, “Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this your son came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!” And he said to him, “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.”‘” – Luke 15:11-32
The Father, our God:
- does not bring up the past
- does not test our repentance
- does not make us wait
- does not listen to us degrade ourselves
The Father runs before the son can even finish his rehearsed speech of repentance. This is an image of a God who does not live by the memory of our sins, but by His love for us.
A relationship with God (def.) is living in the awareness of His presence, based on sonship, not on merit.
4. A Relationship with God Is ALWAYS Tied to the WORD
In the Gospel of John, chapter 1, we read that “the Word became flesh”:
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. John bore witness about him and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.'” For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.” – John 1:1-18
A relationship with God cannot be separated from a relationship with the Word. It is through the Word that we come to know God as He truly is! Through the Word, and through the Holy Spirit who reveals it to us! Without the Word of God, our experiences become subjective, and our spirituality becomes dangerous.
The Word of God is able to correct us:
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” – Heb 4:12
This isn’t religious activity done out of obligation, but a desire for relationship and for knowing God! It is His WORD that:
- Reveals God as He truly is
- Renews and corrects the way we think
- Shows us all the promises we can lay hold of
- Builds our faith (through hearing)
- Causes us to recognize “the voice of our Shepherd”
- Protects us from deception, because we come to know the truth
- Is like a sword that gives us victory over the enemy
- Heals us and brings peace to our hearts
- Guides us in our everyday lives
- Gives us spiritual growth and deepens our relationship with our God…
“Just as rain falls upon the earth… so is my Word — it does not return empty, but accomplishes its purpose” (Isa 55:8–11)
A relationship with God means allowing the Holy Spirit, through the Word of God, to transform our minds so that we can understand what we have and how we can run to God.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God.” – Rom 12:2
In a relationship with God we need to know our identity — that we know who we are, children of God, that we have an inheritance in Him, and that we can boast in Him:
“Thus says the LORD: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.'” – Jer 9:23-24
A relationship with God is the ability to understand His works, His ways, and His character. It is knowing when something comes from God and when it comes from the devil, and being able to tell His voice apart from the enemy’s lies. A relationship with God lets us see not only the temporal perspective, but the eternal one!
5. A Relationship with God Needs Prayer (Conversation)
We build a relationship with God the same way we build one with people — through conversation and by spending time together. Prayer, like conversation, should be two-sided. God wants to speak to us, and we should want to hear Him through the written Word of God or through various kinds of revelation (in agreement with the Word of God). Prayer should be a natural conversation, like the one you’d have with a friend! We should devote time to a relationship with God and to conversation with Him.
6. THE HOLY SPIRIT – THE PERSON OF RELATIONSHIP
The Holy Spirit is not an extra — He is the key. Without the Holy Spirit, the Bible becomes just a book, prayer becomes a monologue, and faith becomes a theory.
“These things God has revealed to us through the Spirit” (1 Cor 2:10)
It is the Spirit who reveals the depths of God, interprets the Word, and leads us in relationship. The Holy Spirit is our Teacher. The Spirit does not speak on His own, does not proclaim a different gospel, and always leads to Jesus. If something contradicts the Word, builds fear, or undermines our sonship, it is not the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit works in three dimensions. In our past, He reminds us of God’s faithfulness rather than our sin. In our present, He gives us peace, guidance, and wisdom. In our future, He shows us what is coming and prepares our hearts.
The Holy Spirit is called, in Greek, parakletos, which means defender, counselor, helper, and advocate. You are not alone in your relationship with God. He lives in you, He does not leave, He does not take offense, and He does not withdraw!
How Do You Live in a Relationship with God?
3 practical steps:
- Trade performance for trust
- Read the Word with the Spirit — not just with the mind, and not in a rush
- Talk with the Holy Spirit throughout the day
A relationship with God is not perfection, and it isn’t only emotions — it is a daily presence, as it is written: “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2:20)
A relationship with God is not a religion, not a system of rules, and not a matter of spiritual accomplishments. A relationship with God is a response to the invitation of the Father, who was the first to reach out to man.
Today, God does not ask, “How hard are you trying?” but rather, “Will you let Me be close?” The goal of Christianity is not correct behavior, but a renewed relationship. This teaching touches the very foundations of the Gospel:
- “Relationship is not born of effort, but of presence.”
- “God is not looking for perfect people, but for available ones.”
- “You don’t work for a relationship — you live from a relationship.”
- “Sonship does not begin with obedience, but with identity.”
- “Religion asks: have I done enough? Relationship asks: have I let Him be close?“
